


Parallel

by Semi_problematic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Father-Son Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, No Romance, Other, Suicide, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: History repeats itself.





	Parallel

Carl's small hand was tucked inside of Rick's as they walked, trees towering over them. Rick's heart was racing, anxiety rushed through his veins. Months. It had been months since he had touched his son, held him. Carl was far too young to be suffering through this, too young to have to grow up. 

"Will you ever leave me again, dad?" Carl whispered, hiding himself behind Rick. He clung to him, small nails digging into Rick's sweaty palms. Misquotes flew around him, his free hand swatting at them. 

Rick felt his chest ache as though there was a hole inside of it. He swallowed, stopping in his tracks. Carl rubbed against the back of his leg as Rick pondered. "No." He finally said. Making promises was risky, but Rick swore to never break a promise to his little boy again. "I won't ever leave you again, Carl." 

Carl stepped in front of him, still holding onto his hand. These days Carl held him as though Rick would disappear if he let go. "Good." Carl stared up at him, his eyes squinting at the son. Rick moved in front of it, part of him worrying about telling his son he would go blind if he continued to do such things. Rick had so much left to teach him. "I didn't like when you left." 

Rick nodded, crouching down and scooping his son up. "I didn't like being away. You're my boy, Carl." For a moment, Rick was silent, gripping his son and keeping him close. "I won't ever leave you again. Never." 

"Promise?" Carl's small mouth moved against Rick's neck, his eyelashes fluttering just beneath his ear. 

Rick dropped to his knees, clutching his son. A few tears slipped from his eyes, wiping the dirt from his face. "I promise." He hadn't been able to get close to Carl and just Carl since he had joined the group. Lori had been hovering around and Shane was close behind. 

Rick's body shook as he began to cry, slumping against a tree. Carl laid still in his arms, his hands on Rick's chest. Rick only tightened his grip, shaking his head. He swore beneath his breath, closing his eyes. Tears streamed down his face, his chest heaving. 

"Daddy?" Carl squirmed in his arms, pushing away from Rick and standing up. His small hands cupped Rick's cheeks, wiping his tears away. "What's wrong?" He whispered. "Did I hurt you?" 

Rick stared up at his son, memorizing each freckle and line. "No... no... daddy's happy." 

"Then why are you crying?"

Gently, Rick took his sons hands in his own. "They're happy tears." He kissed Carl's knuckles. "Daddy thought he would never see you again." 

"That's silly." Carl pushed into Rick's touch. "You'll always find me. Remember when I got lost at the mall?" 

Carl had wondered into the arcade, leaving Rick and Lori in a mattress store. Lori broke down and waited with a policeman at the mall while Rick tore through each store, screaming Carl's name until his voice was gone. When they found Carl, he stroked his dad's faced and asked why his voice was hurt. When Rick said he yelled too much, Carl kissed his throat and told him he was sorry. Rick cried so hard Lori had to drive home. 

Softly, Rick laughed. "Yeah... I do. Don't wanna remember it. You scared the hell outta me." 

"You found me." Carl smiled at him. "You always do. It's your job. Saving people." 

Rick wiped his eyes, nodding. He pulled himself to his feet and pushed Carl's bangs back. He kissed his head and took his hand once more. "I'm sorry, Carl." He whispered.

"It's okay." Carl placed a small kiss on his hand. "Kisses fix everything." 

Rick closed his eyes and silently thanked god that his son did not grow up too much while he was gone. He wanted to be with Carl through everything. Good and bad. His job was to protect him. 

"Let's get back to camp." Rick turned around and they began to walk the path, Carl leading the way, or so he thought. Carl tugged at Rick's arm, staggering up the rocks and broken branches that covered the path. 

"You're so slow!" Carl shouted, jerking away and beginning to run up the path. Rick followed, gripping the gun tucked into his belt. 

"Carl!" Rick shouted. "Slow down!" He pushed himself to move faster, stumbling to his knees and grabbing Carl with one hand. He pulled his son into his chest and looked around. "God... don't do that." 

Carl nodded, pressing his chin to his father's shoulder. "Sorry." He whispered, his knees digging into Rick's thighs.

Rick took a deep breath, breathing in Carl and closing his eyes. "It's okay... just... just don't run from me-" 

"Dad-" Carl tensed up and jerked against his chest. "Dad!" Carl broke free and stumbled back. He breathed heavily and crawled back against a nearby tree.

Rick frowned. "What?" He turned to look behind him, gasping. Only feet away was a walker, one arm cut open and the other bit. Clothes were torn off of it but the skin was still normal. It staggered towards them, growling deep in its throat. He pulled out his gun and shot it, scrambling back towards Carl. He watched the body drop, eyeing it in order to make sure it didn't move. 

Carl's voice broke Rick from his trance. "Dad?" Carl whispered. Rick turned to him and felt his heart break. He crawled behind Rick and hid, his cheeks pink and tear stained. "I'm scared." 

Rick swallowed, his throat dry. He dropped the gun and wrapped his arms around Carl, pulling him into his lap. "Don't be." He whispered. "Daddy's got you. I'm gonna protect you, Carl." He closed his eyes and kissed his cheek. "It's a dad's father to protect his son." He would never break that promise.

\- 

Rick's voice broke, his lungs aching from the smoke filled air around them. Beside him was his son, worn down and tired. Carl was no longer ten years old, instead he was sixteen, and the virus was inside him. Burning. Turning him. Rick closed his eyes and shook his head. "I broke my promise..." He whispered. "I didn't protect you... they got to you-" 

"Hey..." Carl whispered, raising his hand and laying it on Rick's thigh. "You didn't break anything. It was an accident..."

"Shouldn't have been out there." Rick whispered. "Should've kept you in here, where its safe." 

Carl swallowed, closing his eyes. "I was saving someone, dad." He sighed, his face twisting in pain. Rick's heart aches. "He deserved to feel safe. He deserved a home."

"And you deserve to live." Rick whispered, ducking down and hovering over Carl. 

"We don't always get what we deserve." Carl reached up and stroked Rick's cheek. "But it is important to try and give... give people what they do deserve." 

"I tried." Rick whispered. "But it wasn't good enough. A father's job is to protect... to keep his son safe-"

"Love." Carl replied. "It is to love, dad. I was bound to grow up-"

"Not this soon." Tears dropped from his eyes and fell on Carl's shirt. The shirt covered in ashes. While the world burned around him, Rick's own world fell apart. "I wasn't supposed to lose you this soon-" 

"I know." Carl whispered. "But it's time. I can... I can feel it... it's time." 

Rick shook his head. "No. We can have someone look at it. Try and get you to Hilltop. Something-" 

"Dad..." Carl's hand dropped to his gun. "Go outside." 

"No." Rick hissed. "No!" 

"Go outside, dad." 

"I promised to never leave." Rick reached down and took Carl's hand. "I am not leaving, not now, Not ever-"

"Michonne is out there. Go." 

"No." Rick clenched his jaw. "No. I am not leaving you." He repeated, his arms twisting around Carl. He pulled his son and placed him gently in his lap. "It's okay..." 

Carl took a deep breath, nodding. He struggled to pull his gun from his holster, so Rick did. His fingers curled around the cool weapon, handing it to his son. Carl gripped it, his knuckles white. Slowly, he raised it to his temple. "Dad... I'm scared."

"I know." Rick whispered, stroking his sons hair. "But I'm here. You're okay... it's gonna be okay." 

Carl looked up at his dad, biting his lip. Tears fell down his face and Rick wiped them away. "I love you..." 

"I love you, Ca-" 

The gunshot rang out, his sons body jerking against him. Rick's eyes closed tightly, his body tensing. Blood soaked into his clothes, he didn't need to look in order to know. It slipped beneath his denim and the thin cotton of his shirt. Slowly, Rick opened his eyes, a sob shaking his body. Rick hunched down, his hands reaching out for the parts of Carl that were missing. 

His skull was scattered across the floor, bits of hair and brain as well. His shaking hands grabbed at the pieces, pressing them to his sons now disfigured head. Rick looked at him, studying his face. There was no need to memorize it, Rick remembered it. He pulled Carl close, whatever that was left of his head lulling to the side. Rick took a shaking breath and placed a kiss to his sons cheek. 

"A kiss..." Rick choked up. "A kiss fixes everything."


End file.
